Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

You wouldn’t think that a guy who shoots movies with lepers and bible pages stuffed up girl’s asses and all sorts of other, uhmmm, interesting stuff would be bothered by much. But I’ve noticed that even the most jaded, morally corrupt guys (and I’ll admit I probably fall into this category as well) can easily get their boxers in a twist when some chic starts fucking with their heads.

Recently, as reported on some other sites, the porn star with those big butterfly wings tattooed on her back, Papillion, has been doing just that—fucking with Zupko’s head. And I might add fucking with his good name as well! And as all of you know, at simplyjimmyd.com we like to give everyone equal time. While this latest tale of troubling and disturbing human conflict in the jizz biz may seem to have melodramatic themes of operatic proportions, be advised that it is only coincidental that Zupko’s latest erotic vision is actually entitled, “Opera.”

So without further prologue, here’s more of this latest emotional fiasco featuring a porn star and a porn director. In this new chapter, Thomas Zupko gets to have his say.

Zupko writes: Ladies & Gentlemen! Members of the Adult Entertainment Industry of all Shapes & Sizes! Welcome! The Thomas Zupko Carnival has once again arrived in your town! Ah, and what a great show it is! Filled with gratuitous sex, debauchery, deceit, and despair! My only hope is that you are dutifully entertained and that it is well worth the price of admission.

As I have had limited internet access in the past month, I am only aware of the goings-on of the gossip websites through updates from friends or the half hour a day I am allowed on-line. I’ve been so immersed in my latest show, OPERA, that everything else has been put on the backburner. But having had dozens of phone calls in the past two days concerning the recent postings of the star of OPERA, Papillon, I felt I must at the very least, in as few words as I can, give my side of the story. I apologize for any inconsistencies because, as I said earlier, most of what I’m responding to is what I’ve been told by friends and the information I gathered from the brief period of time I was able to get on-line.

1) Yes, Papillon is right, I absolutely did stalk her. As a matter of fact (and I probably shouldn’t confess to this here) there was a time (even though to this day I don’t know where she lives) that I somehow managed to crawl through the Los Angeles sewage system and found my way into her garbage disposal. It was amazing! What I don’t understand though (and I’ve been talking to my shrink about it for the past few weeks) is that when I lifted my head up and gave her a cheery ‘hello!’ she dumped a bowl of three-day old parmesan noodles on my head and screamed at me at the top of her lungs! What was worse is that she then turned the garbage disposal on!!! And, all right, I’ll fess up, there was one time when I hid in her gas tank so I could find out where she lived. What I didn’t expect was that, when she stopped to get gas and fill up, I think I discovered a new vice! That unleaded 89.7 gave me a greater high than any can of Bud Light with a week old Born-On date! Okay, so now I’m addicted to gasoline. Go figure. Worse I stumbled out of the tank somewhere in Palmdale and had to hitchhike home.

2) Yes, I admit that all the times Papillon came to my house in North Hills to help me on the show; it was always against her free will. You see, I shouldn’t admit this because it will be giving away my secret identity, but I have superhero powers. Every time Papillon came over I mentally willed it, put her into a zombified trance so she would be at my beck and call. I know it’s wrong and kind of an abuse of power, and know that now that I’ve revealed this, the greatest scientists from around the world will try to dissect me to figure out where this unnatural ability comes from, but hell, I couldn’t resist. Sometimes I’m just a bad boy and a mischievous child.

3) Yes, I agree with Papillon. I am overweight, an alcoholic, with bad hair and a bad beard, and hell I wouldn’t suck my own dick for a million dollars! I don’t blame her for that at all! What I’m trying to understand though is how in less than a month Papillon’s price somehow (when it comes to me anyway) rose to $1,000,000 plus for a blow job. I guess it’s the war and shit, inflation. Or maybe it’s her new contact lenses and that she finally saw me clearly for the first time. Or maybe, as many of my dear friends have said, I was played from square one. It’s cool, though. Sometimes I look at myself and say, ‘Dude, get in the gym!’ Its funny Papillon didn’t say that to me two months ago in my office/bedroom and certainly didn’t say it to other directors and location mangers (some far more grotesque than me, at least in my convoluted humble opinion, but shit, what do I know? I do need to lose fifty pounds! Damn!), and she knows what I mean here.

4) The last time I talked to Papillon she said, ‘Tom, I’m going to destroy you. You’re no Brad Armstrong, you’re no Patrick Collins, you’re no Axel Braun, you’re just a lowly director. I’m going to call Brad Armstrong right now and tell him that I’ll fuck him everyday if he gives me a contract.’

Remember that, Papillon??? That is the God honest's truth, on my late Grandmother’s heart, and you fucking know it, Papillon, regardless of how delusional you may currently be. And you know what’s sad about this is that you probably were going to have a contract with Elegant. I put everything I have on the line because of the passion you brought to OPERA. YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB. It is the best thing I have ever done in my entire career and, no matter what’s going on in your head now, I will always be indebted to you for what you brought to the show. For whatever it’s worth, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

But you know you did something to me I can never forgive or forget. I don’t care what you say about me, how much you try to emasculate or humiliate me publicly, what I care about is the fact that, beacause of some whacked-out reason in your head, you felt the need to do it. Much of what you said was slanderous: self-serving cruelty. It certainly ain’t no Christian-like compassion. Remember, the walls in the house I live in and you visited have ears. And, no matter how much you may want to deny it all, you know the truth, for whatever it’s worth, which right now doesn’t seem to be a hell of a lot. For something that was your own mental hangup, you lied, you belittled me, you did everything solely to attempt to hurt and crush me (although no one else even cared until now) because in your fucked-up psychology you thought people would think less of you if you didn’t. When, in fact, I was the one there for you when you came back into the business and told me everyone ignored you. I was the one who did everything in my power to, as best I can, give you and me that one shining moment on this show. But you’re right, I am ‘repulsive’ and a user. If it makes you feel better to say that, I’ll agree with it from now on.

And yes, I called you all hours of the night, but I do that with all my close friends: Axel Braun, Brian Surewood, Tim & Jen, Slain Wayne and did it with you because I thought you understood. But don’t worry I haven’t called you since that night and will NEVER call you again. As a matter of fact I’m having my number changed.

I am in many ways a wounded child, but my heart is pure, despite what you may think and I will stand there on Judgment Day with YOUR God and we’ll see who was right and who was wrong. It takes a lot more than the promise of Heaven or the threat of Hell to be a good person and certainly takes a hell of a lot more than to just say you believe and attend church on Sunday. You were the one who told me that you would be there for me on this show and you know what? Up until now, you were. And yes, I carry a lot of baggage but at the same time I give people everything I have. I gave you my last four hundred dollars after the show because I felt for you and your children, not to get my fucking dick sucked. Remember that? Sex is really cheap and easy, compassion is far more complex. And you know what? Because of what you've done it would so easy for me to be a spiteful vindictive asshole and pull you off the box, edit your brilliant performance with Mickey G and Surewood so it's nothing more than an average run-of-the-mill sex scene. But if I do that, then I become you. And that is something I never want to be. Because, my good "church-going Christian" former friend, here's the difference between you and me: I will still do everything I said I was going to do and not hold your irrational hate against you.

But you know what, man? I actually feel good. No doubt you’ll get madder and madder at me, your rage inciting you to talk to your ex-husband about "sending the boys over" to "rough me up" and take those ‘eighteen’ phone messages of mine you saved (And what does that say about you? Premeditated, naw. Who am I to judge?) out of context, giggling with glee as you embarrass me with the hope that it will elevate yourself in the eyes of all the other production companies and directors in this business and will get you more work. Poor, poor Papillon, taken advantage of by the "lowlife scumbag alcoholic director." Poor. poor Papillon.

And that’s cool Papillon, if it makes you feel better to do that, you have my full permission to do "your thang". I hope when all this is said and done you are proud and God will "bless you." Furthermore, if you want me to write something about myself that is 1,000 times more brutal than anything you can extract from real life, I will gladly put pen to paper without a second thought. Just don’t call me anymore, don't e-mail me, and we’ll do it through a third person. I will make myself out to be the biggest scumbag on Planet Earth and give you the vicious satisfaction you so need to make you feel better about yourself. And I will sign an affidavit swearing it’s all true.

And you know what? When you said you were going to ‘destroy me’ perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Perhaps, in its own twisted way, it is the greatest gift you could have ever given me, because it makes me realize that, once and for all, in this miserable thing called life, there are only a few you can truly call friends, who accept you for everything you are in even your most ‘repulsive’ and unflattering moments. And to those friends of mine ‘and you all know who you are and you all know the real me’ thank you so much for being there. Whatever I have is yours.

I have to close by saying that I’ve been working on a 4,000 word piece thanking everyone who contributed to OPERA for more than three weeks now, which I was going to submit to Scott Fayner today. But as I was thrown off course and encouraged to write this response, I won’t submit it for a few more days, because by now I’m sure you’re all sick of my ramblings. I do think though that when it’s finally posted, it will make each and every one of us look at ourselves in a different light.

And Papillon, use this against me if you so choose (put it in your ‘stalking’ file), but I just wanted to thank you again for all your help and support on OPERA. If somehow it makes you feel better to denigrate me then, you know what? I accept that and know that I’m doing something positive and enriching your life by being your psychological whipping post. Don’t worry, I can hang and have no more reason to respond to your attacks, regardless of what you may say or think. In the end, the truth will come out and it will be the cross that you have to bear. Hell, in its own way perhaps it was meant to be. Sometimes that which doesn’t kill you only serves to make you stronger. And my belief now in who and what I am is stronger than it’s ever been in my entire life. And if everyone out there wants to define me without having any clue to what the real truth is, I encourage you all to do it. I just hope you can look at yourselves in the mirror at night. He who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

And, Papillon, speaking of mirrors, one day you'll look into one and see who the real "repulsive, disgusting” human being is. And, on everything I am, for your sake, I hope you will sit back and reevaluate your life and actions to make sure that day of self-revelation never comes. Because, if it does, there may be no turning back. Regardless of what you may have done to me, I wouldn't wish that fate on my worst enemy.

Thank You So Much
Although You Might Not Believe It, I Love You All

Sincerely,
Thomas Zupko

PEACE

JimmyD sez: You know what pisses me off about this whole thing? It p.o.'s me Papillion said "You’re no Brad Armstrong, you’re no Patrick Collins, you’re no Axel Braun, you’re just a lowly director. I’m going to call Brad Armstrong right now and tell him that I’ll fuck him everyday if he gives me a contract," and didn't include my name along with Patrick and Axel and especially that last part about Brad!

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