April 8, 2007

AMERICAN MILF: The Movie

It’s been awhile since I last updated. I’ve been busy. One of the things I’ve been busy with has been “American MILF: The Movie.”

“American MILF” stars former Playboy Playmate, Terry Weigel, in the title role. Rather than shooting another MILF gonzo, we decided to produce AM:TM as a feature. Not a full-blown feature, more of a featurette. Yeah, we had a script and it has a story but none of that detracts from the MILFy sex! BTW, the “we” (as in “we decided to produce…) includes the good folks at TeraVision and myself directing. Playing opposite Ms. Weigel is Spyder Jones, a.k.a., Evan Seinfeld, as Harold “Hardly” Davidson.

As you might be guessing, American MILF is a sex comedy revolving around the extra-marital affairs and antics of Terry and Spyder, who play a suburban couple a la “Married with Children,” and with Spyder in a wannabee-biker, “Joe Dirt,” sorta role, complete with mullet-wig, a chopper, and making some really bad fashion statements. When Terry walks in on Spyder banging a neighborhood teen, Lela Starr, she tosses him out on his ass (literally) and quickly begins a quest to prove there are no MILFs like American MILFs! The neighborhood boys are delighted at this turn of events. Jones’s “Hardly Davidson” (as everyone mockingly refers to him) tries his best to return to the trashy, suburban home he calls “Castle Davidson,” while Terry’s “Mrs. Davidson” MILF’s her role with sexy panache.

“American MILF: The Movie,” is coming soon from TeraVision, distributed by Vivid Pictures, written and directed by your’s truly, and starring Terry Weigel, Lela Starr, Michelle Lay, Ava Lauren, Spyder Jones and more!

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March 11, 2007

The 1rst Amendment Ain’t Just for Porn

I was fairly amused to learn, as I perused adultFYI this morning, there’s a criminal investigation of some sort going on in the wake of the Lockwood/Ponante rumble. Nothing like bad news for one person making for some useable PR for others to spin!

As I sipped my coffee and read through the article, I chuckled at a statement adultFYI’s Gene Ross attributes to director Jennifer James. James is quoted as saying, “I think his (Ponante’s) political agenda is to write whatever he wants with impunity.”

Here’s some 411 for all pornographers: The very same 1rst Amendment that allows you to pursue your dreams of being porn moguls also allows journalists like Gram Ponante to have a “political agenda” where they can “write with impunity.” In fact, believe it or not, the 1rst Amendment was created for the protection of all kinds of people, like journalists and religious freaks and others, without a thought given to pornographers! We just happen to live and work on its coat-tails.

Sorry, but that’s how it works. If any of you want to change that and, assuming (however unlikely) you’re successful at doing so, many of you might consider dusting off your resumes and begin filling out employment applications at your nearest fast-food restaurants.

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March 10, 2007

Why Is Vice Hassling Mika?

Over on adultFYI.com, two stories in as many days recount visits to Mika Tan’s home by LAPD Vice officers. Each time, it’s reported, the cops entered Mika’s home, without a warrant or obvious probable cause and while a shoot was taking place, looking for underage performers.

I doubt this is a case of the LAPD singling out Mika Tan and conspiring to make her life miserable. Besides, LAPD Vice knows enough about how the mainstream, brick-n-mortar porn biz works to know the odds of anyone in the valley’s porn biz intentionally shooting underage performers approaches nil. (Maybe they should share this tidbit with federal investigators?)

I think there’s two, obvious, possibilities for Vice’s presence: 1) They’re responding to an unhappy neighbor’s complaints, or 2) Someone in the adult biz — someone with issues with Mika or the companies shooting at her location home — is giving false, annonymous, tips to Vice.

I’ll bet the latter is the case. If there were an unhappy neighbor calling in false tips to the cops, these acts would, most likely, be commited after some escalation of hostilities towards Ms. Tan. I haven’t read anything coming from Mika that indicates she has had neighbor problems.

Porners ratting out porners is nothing new. The old permit scam was a perfect example. But this is something different as their doesn’t seem to be an obvious financial incentive. If I were Mika, I’d be trying to ferret out the rat. And if she does ferret said rat out, she ought to share her findings with the LAPD. I’m not saying LAPD will do jack about it, but at least Mika’s report will be on record and might help with any defense she might need to mount.

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March 5, 2007

The Lockwood/Ponante Scuffle from an Egoist’s POV

Recieved the following email this morning:

Hello, My name is Brian Scott and I am with Egoist Entertainment and I wanted to respond regarding the Kurt Lockwood situation.

My first responsibility to Egoist is to produce a quality product, while safely maintaining control of the set, crew, cast and invited guests.

Any issues between Kurt Lockwood and Gram Ponante had nothing to do with Egoist. Any altercations between Kurt and Gram took place outside before they entered the set.

Not sure if you have ever produced a movie, but it is very difficult to replace someone on short notice that you wrote a part for, so we had no choice but to do whatever we could to make the shoot happen.

I read on adultdvdtalk someone said they think Kurt could potentially threatening the Long-Term viability of Egoist, which obviously came from and uneducated source, as the production of “eXXXtra eXXXtra” was never in jeopardy and we have a long term distribution deal with Hustler.

Trust me, I would love to have both talent and the reporting that helps me sell product. I can tell you that once the media left the shoot we ended better than expected with no issues.

Thank you,

Brian Scott

jimmyD sez: Thanks for clarifying Egoist’s position, Brian. I should mention, just to validate my porn-cred, that I’ve shot, edited, produced, and directed hundreds of movies over my nearly 14 years in this biz. So, it is possible that I might know something of which I speak… I mean write.

When I wrote that Lockwood put your production in jeopardy, I was referring to it’s efficient operation, not it’s overall success. I did not mean to infer that the actions of a single meatpuppet would jeopardize your entire movie nor do I agree with the AdultDVDTalk contributor that Lockwood will have any impact on your company’s long-term and future viability. BTW, I’ve personally been confronted with replacing talent on short notice — many times, in fact — and haven’t usually found it to be that difficult of a task.

Best of luck with Egoist’s current and future productions!

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March 2, 2007

Expo Mark: Another POV (Plus, the Ponante/Lockwood Altercation)

Rob Ragan, sales guy at White Tiger Releasing, emails me:

“I have attended all 3 Expo-Marks and if I never did another AEE show again I’d (be) very o-so content with that. I’ve been doing sales in this biz on and off since 86′ man and absolutely dread the January show. It kinda sucks that most of the deals get done at the center bar.The Expo Mark has refueled my want to do trade shows. Not only do you get 20 solid minutes with each buyer but you also get to hang out with them after show hours. When your having a drink at the bar….it’s just that, a simple drink. Whereas at the AEE you HAVE to disturb your buyers social time just to make enough sales to justify the ridiculous fuckin’ cost of Vegas. That’s my 2 cents on the matter. Feel free to post this if you want. I think the feeling about the Expo Mark is the same all around.if your not in it…..you’d better find a way! Rob Ragan, White Tiger Releasing”

JimmyD sez: Apparently, I misidentified Expo Mark by referring to is as Expo Mart in my previous post. It probably won’t be the last time, here on the blog, I fuck something like that up. My apologies to the folks who produce Expo Mark.

Regarding a completely different matter, here’s my take on the Kurt Lockwood/Gram Ponante altercation.

First off, Lockwood, it’s reported, was an hour late for his call time, plus he had an out-time! (Hat tip to RL for a reminder on the “out-time” point.) He then, it’s also reported, proceeded to piss off the studio location’s owner and was asked to leave the premises. It’s still further reported that he (Lockwood) assaulted Gram Ponante–an invited journalist there to cover Egoist Entertainment’s shoot–over some alleged cyber-gossip-reporting by America’s beloved porn journalist, Mr. G. Ponante.

As a result, the producers asked Gram to leave.

Justice aside, let’s look at it from a purely business point-of-view:

1. Lockwood put Egoist’s production in jeopardy on a number of counts.

2. How many pieces will Lockwood’s participation in the production sell? None, maybe? How many pieces will Ponante’s reporting, assuming it’s favorable, sell? More than none, maybe?

3. How difficult is it to replace a cast member in a porn production? Easy enough. After all, it’s done almost every freakin’ day. How easy is it to replace favorable reporting, setting one production apart from the many that take place everyday? Not as easy as replacing a meatpuppet.

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February 28, 2007

Will AVN’s AEE Tank?

I’ve spoken to a few people who recently returned from Florida where they attended the Expo Mart. By all reports, it was a smashing success! Some industry insiders are saying they met buyers they’ve never met and, while this is about to sound like I have things in the wrong order, deals were hatched and consumated by many.

Interestingly, a common thread I’ve heard involves AVN’s annual, Vegas-venue, AEE show. By all reports, many of Expo Mart’s attendees were saying their companies aren’t going to participate in next year’s AEE. It seems the cost hasn’t justified the benefits in recent years. Many of them were especially dissapointed with last year’s event. Fewer companies will mean fewer girls and fewer girls will mean fewer fans and looky-loos.

I guess we’ll all have to wait and see what happens. It’s still almost a year away, certainly enough time for AVN to take a look at what its been doing to meet the needs of participants and what it might do to keep these many companies attending their convention.

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February 18, 2007

Perversion for Profit

This could be the single most laugh-out-loud, anti-porn, propaganda piece every filmed!

In this 1965 production, newsman, George Putnam, warns us of the dangers of pornography. He takes the viewer on a virtual tour of titillating smut as he links porn to communism and, over and over, makes his case for it being all about protecting the kids.

Forty-odd years later, Putnam’s views sound exactly like the words of today’s anti-porn crusaders. The more some things change, the more they remain the same. Putnam portrays the porn biz (of his day) as a $2 billion a year business. Replace the newstand of Putnam’s time to the internet of today and you’ll see and hear how his words and views are so similar — make that exactly like — those echoed by today’s anti-porn zealots. These guys need some new writers.

CLICK HERE to watch “Perversion for Profit.”

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February 16, 2007

Who’s Your Daddy?

New questions in the sensational Anna Nicole Smith soap opera reveal two, new, unusual suspects in the frenzied, media-driven, “Who’s your Daddy?” mystery.

Tongues are wagging and theories abound that Smash Pictures CEO, Danny Quinn, and Smash Pictures GM and sales guy, Stuart Wall, might be possible sperm donors in the ongoing, high-stakes, paternity battle for all those millions.

“I’m a professional and would never think of using my good looks, charm, or professional position to leverage myself into a carnal dalliance with any woman, much less one who was as emotionally vulnerable as Ms. Smith seems to have been,” Stu (Dog) Wall did not say. “But that is an awful lot of money,” Wall neglected to add with a sparkle in his eye. (Journalistic nod to G. Ponante)

“It would be an honor for any woman to bear Dan Quinn’s child,” porn PR Guru, Jeff Mullen, did not announce in a press release on Quinn’s behalf. (A press release that, also and for once, did not mention Britney Rears.) “It seems people are reading something special into the fact that Ms. Smith’s surviving daughter is named Dannilynn. Danny Quinn does not, at this time, wish to comment on the similarities in names between himself and Ms. Smith’s daughter,” Mullen said. “But, yes,” Mullen conceded, “It is adding fuel to the fire and increasing speculation.”

Both Quinn and Wall met the now-deceased tabloid tart at a Larry Flynt roast hosted by the Friar’s Club.

“They all seemed pretty chummy if you ask me,” commented an attendee who did not wish to be identified. “Who knows what went on after the roast? Threesome anyone?”

A former Smash Pictures director said Ms. Smith was approached at the roast about participating in a potential project, “The Anal Nicole Smith Show,” that would parody the star’s reality TV program. It’s been reported that, while money was discussed, Ms. Smith demanded more than the producers were willing to give. More money, that is.

Only time and court filings might reveal if there is any substance to this Quinn/Wall theoretical spoof.

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February 14, 2007

OMG! I’m Such a ‘Tard!

I just received a phone call from everyone’s moral leader, Luke Ford.

“What’s up with your site?” Lukey asked.

“Other than I haven’t updated in a week or two, nothing,” I said.

“It’s been down for a few days.”

“Huh? That’s news to me. I had no idea.”

After chatting with Luke about this and that for a few minutes, I got off the phone and did some quick research and found out that my URL expired a few days ago, on the 10th. I sent them a payment and, well, now simplyjimmyd is back on line. I also updated some personal info with them, like my new phone number and email address. I guess that’s why I didn’t know the site was going to expire: They had no current way of contacting me.

Like I said, I’m such a ‘tard.

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February 1, 2007

Newsweek Wants to Know Wuzzup in the Jizz Biz

I was contacted by a reporter from Newsweek yesterday. He wanted to ask me a few questions about the current state of porn’s health and where I thought the biz is heading. I liken his inquiries to CNN interviewing troops in the field rather than the Generals in their bunkers. (Generals who will, for the most part, only spin officially-sanctioned views.)

The dude wanted to know all kinds of stuff. For example: What’s going on in production and sales lately? Why has porn become so “gnarly”in terms of content? How many billions I thought the biz is really worth? What impact will the jizz biz have on the battle over Blu-Ray and HD DVD? And more.

I’ve been interviewed by this Newsweek reporter before– It was two or three years ago when I was involved with that XXX Church thing and all the media hooplah that surrounded it. I learned a lot about dealing with the media back then. Couldn’t help getting educa-mated after being interviewed by so many TV stations and shows including CNN, ABC, FOX, The Daily Show, and even Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcast Network. And, of course, there were a whole bunch of articles and interviews about it in newspapers and magazines world-wide. Hey! I even got my picture in People magazine! How many other people in this biz can claim that? During that time, some people in this biz were publicly calling me a “turncoat” and saying I should be “shunned from the business.” Well, it’s two or three years later and I’m still here and still working. So much for shunning JimmyD, fuck you very much.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “You can’t flunk out of porn!”

If you’re interested in what I might have said, you’ll have to wait till Newsweek publishes it. (I have no idea when that will be.) I’ll tell you something– Back in those XXX Church days, I learned (when dealing with national publications) it’s better to ask for the questions in writing and respond in writing. Kinda reduces the chances of misquotes and/or things being taken out of context, ya know?

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